really tired
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i love having a lil toddler, the personality and humor is impeccable

i sneezed and to him it was the funniest thing he’s ever experienced

freshpickle:

please be nice to me, i’m in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

coolxatu:

coolxatu:

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

kitschens:

bakwaaas:

one day I woke up and realised all the waiting and yearning was actually me living my life and it’s happening right now and it’s still good even if it’s not perfect and there is no moment when all your dreams get fulfilled and everything makes sense. like… this is it. this is life. you’ll waste away your youth waiting for some imagined future if you don’t love life for what it is now and make the most of it

Comic by @shhhitsfine

depsidase:

property-is-theft:

powerbottombrucespringsteen:

If i were in a high fantasy setting i’d be corrupted by the allure of ancient and forbidden magicks SO quickly you have no idea

I would immediately dedicate my life to becoming a threat to a party of around four level ten adventurers

cheeso:

just a reminder to my new followers that if were ever able to cross the explanatory gap and share our color perception qualia with each other, proving finally that we all do see colors differently, my red is real as shit and youve been seeing crap fake red. so come to terms with your shit fake red while it lasts

tolerateit:

dankmemeuniversity:

what-even-is-thiss:

Why are so many people convinced that babies are trying to manipulate them? They’re babies. They literally don’t know how to do anything except suck and scream and be confused. They’re not “manipulating” you. They’re experiencing extreme back pain.

Did you know that? That babies get back pain? They can grow over an inch in one day. Their bones are stretching and it hurts a lot and they don’t know why. Give them a break.

wwwwyamd:

rogueninja:

if cats aren’t meant to be kissed on their heads then what’s that little space between their ears for

lostsometime:

:

Food history has been so sanitized by the demonization of carbs. “Our ancestors only had fruits and veggies they didn’t have all these refined carbs” our ancestors drank beer 25/8 because the water was bad. Our ancestors drizzled honey on shit ever since we knew it existed. We’ve been making bread for our entire recorded history. It’s true that bleached sugars specifically are a new thing but high glycemic carbs are not new at all, we’ve been consuming them for thousands of years

ALSO LIKE - I am not my ancestors! You are not your ancestors! Your life looks VERY DIFFERENT from the life of a medieval farmer or nomadic hunter-gatherer! Your diet is OBVIOUSLY going to be different from theirs, and that’s not a bad thing!

scribeofpnakotis:

teaandinanity:

odin-n-out:

odin-n-out:

I feel absolute rage when i call An Office and have to sit through a 5 minute recording telling me I can just use their website thanks!!! I can’t! Believe it or not I’m a child of the internet age who went on your website and it was shit!! Get me a human person!!!!

any government department: ~you can use our website~

me, 2 hours on hold: I really fucking cannot

troutlawyer:

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post